Free to watch · metered by the laugh

You don't pay for jokes.
You pay for laughs.

Ten years of stand-up, remastered from the original tapes. Watching costs nothing. Laughing is measured in hilarity units and billed to your session. You pay only when the product works.

9 master tapes12 bits remastered30 min of comedy2000–2004 vintage0 mentions of Bismarck

The Complete Works

12 titles · 2000–2004 · machine-scored

Pricing

Watching is free and always will be. Laughing is metered. Pricing built on effort collapses the moment the effort disappears — the jokes were written decades ago, the effort is long gone. So we price the only thing left that's real: your reaction. Call it putting my money where your mouth is.

Metered · default
$0.30 / kHU
  • Watching: free. Always.
  • Laughter billed as detected — a typical clip costs $2–$3
  • A complete pass through all 12 titles runs about $38.00
  • Settlement is on the honor system, which we consider generous of us
Subscription · by mail
$189.99 / month
  • Unmetered after approval. Laugh as hard as you like, at no marginal cost
  • We mail you an agreement. You sign it in ink and mail it back.
  • After approval, the detector stays on because we like the data. It simply stops charging you.
  • Best value if you watch the complete catalog five times a month
  • Pays for itself after only 60 clips

Break-even analysis: Watch every clip five times in the same month and the subscription pays for itself, which we consider a conservative estimate of your eventual behavior. We have run this past a finance person, who asked us to stop.

How average laughter cost works

Average laughter cost assumes a viewer with an objectively good sense of humor. Viewers with taste impairment may pay less. This is not a discount; it is a diagnostic result. Pay-per-laugh is fair because we never charge you for comedy you were unable to recognize.

* One HU is, by definition, the concept of calibrating a hilarity unit. Values are expressed in kHU because 8,720 HU is unwieldy and 8.72 is not. Methodology available on request; it arrives as a 16-stage Python pipeline and you will regret asking. Hilarity is non-refundable. Source: I said so on LinkedIn.

ALLAN WELLS.ai

INVOICE

AW-2004-001
Bill toCurrent browser session
Identity assumed from confidence
Payment termsDue upon laughter
Immediately, retroactively
Hilarity consumed · this session0 events
Nothing recorded. Either the material isn't landing or you haven't watched anything yet. We assume the latter, generously.
Amount owed (honor system) $0.00

Payment authorization

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